Category Archives: Misc

Absolute Painting – Lawrence, Kansas

A friend of Bandolero recently hired Absolute Painting to paint the interior of a house in Lawrence, Kansas. Despite indications of incompetence after they started, the friend allowed them to paint the entire inside, walls and ceilings. Big mistake. One only needs to see one room to know they were incompetent. Turns out they were not only incompetent, they used watered down paint. It’s going to cost our friend several thousand dollars to fix the damages and get the place good enough to show prospective buyers. Bandolero really hates when somebody claims to be a professional when they are not. Even worse is peddling watered down paint! Bandolero issues this warning to the good people of Lawrence, Kansas: stay away from Absolute Painting. If you’re a bad person, hire them; you will get what you deserve.

Reporting In

The months have flown by and it’s time for Bandolero to report in. And that’s what this post is about. Because not only is it time for Bandolero to report in, it is time for Bandolero’s captains and lieutenants to report in, as well. The generals and colonels don’t have to report in, however, because they report in to Bandolero and their reports are passed along by Bandolero when Bandolero reports in. Captains and lieutenants, however, generally are kind of like franchisees in the revolution. They are independent contractors in the cause. They call their own shots in their own time, so long as their actions further the cause of the revolution. Since they aren’t under the direct command and oversight of Bandolero, Bandolero can’t really report in for them, but must send out the call, such as this call, for them to report in. Also, many of them work undercover or as double agents or quadruple agents for the cause, making it impossible for them to report in on a pre-arranged schedule, because the nature of being undercover or working double or quadruple just doesn’t allow for reporting in according to a pre-arranged schedule. They have to take the opportunities when they come and since they’re undecover they’re usually not the ones who control the opportunities.

And there you have it. Until the next report, adios.

 

El Bandolero Spurts Again!

Seems like things around here happen in spurts. That is, Bandolero has a brief episode of activity, then weeks and months of nothing. This is not really fair to Bandolero’s faithful followers. On the other hand, it’s a fun way to mess with his detractors and enemies and agents of corrupt governments whose job it is to watch Bandolero’s every move and every word. They can’t afford anything less than round the clock diligence, they can’t even afford to blink, for fear they might miss the one key piece of evidence they’re so desperate to find. Anybody who blinks jeopardizes their career, their reputation, their moment of glory. So, Bandolero works below the radar for stretches of time while they watch his blog and see nothing as days, weeks, even months pass. Bandolero enjoys imagining the scene that must take place when finally something shows up on the blog. Agents suddenly scrambling for their phones, checking their equipment to be sure it’s on, their adrenaline suddenly pumping, hearts racing, the worst state to be in when one is expected to perform with the cool calculated calm of a professional. Yes, Bandolero has appeared! Not just the Outlaw Bandolero, but the Guerrilla Bandolero!

Hey, guys: Boo!

Ha-ha-ha! El Bandolero has struck again! To his loyal followers and comrades Bandolero says, “Get out your official Bandolero Decrypto-Ciphers and calibrate to setting Alpha-Victor-Zulu at precisely oh-nineteen sixty to decode the secret coded message in this posting, and follow the instructions for your next mission. To his detractors and enemies and agents of corrupt governments Bandolero says, “Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!”