Gasoline Consumer’s Aid

My compadre Blacky wrote to announce his Consumer Aid program:

Willie had “FARM AID”, BONO has “AIDS AID” so I’m going to have “CONSUMER AID”. I want to express my sympathy for US consumers over the price of gasoline and help in a material way. For the poor people that only take one family cruise per year and can afford only one SUV, and one expensive Japanese sedan, we here at Black Star Oil commit resources to the following offer:

If a family can prove that they quit eating in expensive restaurants 4 times per week, and if they stop buying $4.50 per gallon bottled water, we will offer 5 Qts free. They do however have to buy their own filter. WARNING” always filter crude oil through a sock before putting it an SUV.

Seriously, the only people really hurt are the working poor that are pulling themselves up by their boot straps working two or three jobs to try to provide for a family. I relate to them because I came from that place.

Most of our so called middle class are a bunch of lazy, overpaid, spoiled, complainers that expect things to be easy, and teach their kids that things should be easy too, perpetuating a society of non-contributors. I can’t imagine what would happen in a real national crisis, or massive natural disaster, where individual survival skills are all that will keep a family alive. You know they would be sitting on the front porch crying and asking “Why doesn’t the Government save me”. It is there on their front porch, where we will find their remains, not having ventured our to help themselves.

You’ve no doubt noticed on the news, the media always interview some fat cat in a motor home about how the price of gas is killing him. Honest to god, I heard this on national news. They interviewed a guy filling up a big motor coach. One of he expensive ones that look like a show bus. The guy’s wife spoke up to say that” due to the price of fuel they may have to sell their house”. Last night I saw the news interviewing a guy with a 47″ boat complaining because he put $850 worth of gas in the thing. Am I to feel sorry for these people. I say f__k em!

Don’t you wish they would interview a LEGAL immigrant family where they are all working to build a better life and educate their kids to contribute to society? If they did interview them, we would hear a resolve to solutions, not complaints. You would hear:

“With the 30% raise in gas prices, we have to ride the bus to our second job. In this way we are still able to work for a great life and it teaches our kids that they can overcome obstacles to achieve anything if they are willing to work for it. This country is so Bountiful, and we have no complaints.”

Wouldn’t that story help to inspire us all to reach for a star? One positive story on national news could lift millions of people to achieve greater things. Instead we get stories that dumb us down. Well I for one refuse to participate. I’ll write my own story through careful consideration of facts. I’ll become inspired by my challenges. I’ll strive to be the positive story I did not hear on the news. I may fail to touch that star, but I’ll be proud I took the chance to reach, and I’ll inspire others that will touch a star. In this way we remain an individual, and it is in this way that we inspire others to reach for their star. Perhaps inspiration is the only gift where we can’t give more than we receive. I’m am certain however that when we leave this world, we only take with us that which we gave away, while we were here. My wish is that my gift will be” inspiration” as I want to leave inspired.

And another thing!!!! You know I would not say it, if I could not prove it. There is no human induced global warming. My recent debate with Dr Fredrick Murray, Climatologist and others proved there is no current evidence of global warming due to industrial activity. I’ll spare you the two hour pitch, but give you two facts not challenged by anyone with a brain. 1. Yellow Stone Park is the largest single contributor of greenhouse gasses in the USA. 2. The polar cap on the planet Mars is receding (melting).

Maybe that’s our fault too. Let’s ask Al Gore, who is partners in a company that profits by trading carbon credits under trading authorized by the Kyoto treaty.

I know the price of gasoline cartoons were just good humor jokes, and I laughed, but I know you are sensitive to other peoples pain, but I don’t want you to extend your generous feelings to people that don’t deserve your sincere sympathy. We can not save the world, so we join the party.

I hope I have the privilege to burn the last gallon of gasoline left on the planet by lighting a bone fire to roast hot dogs with my Grandbaby, Natalie Rose Pryor. If we can’t get hot dogs, we’ll roast a blue jay.

Anyway, what do I know. I’m just a guy with a used drill bit in my trunk. However in my defense, I do have four Earth scientists with PhDs working for me.

Your Pal, Blacky The Outlaw

About Bandolero

Bandolero is an acrominical phoneme dissimilar in many ways from the phenominal esprit de la monastic pheronome widely observed in the montanas and sometimes mistaken for somebody else.