Schumer & Schiff – Shampoo Politicians

El Bandolero is a fan of CBS Sunday Morning. Hosted by Jane Pauley, it was previously hosted by Charles (“I’ll see you on the radio”) Osgood and often featured On the Road pieces by Charles Kuralt. Sunday morning TV also brings us the supposed news programs Meet the Press, Face the Nation, and This Week With George Stephanopoulos. Certain faces are staples on the three purported news shows, and what comes out of their mouths is all too predictable. As soon as the host introduces Chuck Schumer or Adam Schiff, there’s no need to watch further. They read the same script every Sunday morning, and every other time they show up in front of a camera. We recently discussed Republican sleazebag Ted Cruz. and these Democrats are cast from the same mold. It’s the one labeled, “Sleazebag Politician”. Sleazebag Cruz at least gives us some variety from one Sunday to the next. Sleazebags Schumer and Schiff, however, read the same script every time. Just fill in the blank with whatever was the week’s big Donald Trump news item, and then repeat “collusion”, “obstruction”, “suspicious”, and “inappropriate” three or four times, with the same smarmy grin from the previous performance. It wouldn’t matter if Trump single-handedly discovered a cure for cancer, much less brought a thousand new jobs to Detroit, they would get “collusion”, “obstruction”, “suspicious” and “inappropriate” in the same sentence at least twice, repeating in the next sentence. Let’s coin a term: Shampoo Politicians. Lather (with lies), rinse, repeat.

You might wonder why Bandolero has omitted Nancy Pelosi from this post. Does he believe she has redeeming qualities? Certainly not! But, while Schiff and Schumer are total schleazebags, Pelosi is more or less one part sleazebag and one part idiot, in more or less equal parts. She seems sometimes to actually believe what she says, in the way that an alzheimer’s victim may believe he’s on the street where his house is located or may believe today is his birthday. Stop! Bandolero is not suggesting that alzheimers victims are idiots. He is suggesting that when Pelosi speaks, sometimes she’s being a lying sleazebag like Schiff and Schumer, and sometimes she’s being an idiot, inasmuch as, to our knowledge, she has not been diagnosed with dementia.

One of these days, Bandolero will probably speak of Mr. Colbert and his TV show. Or, maybe not. Colbert goes well beyond sleazebag, purporting to justify poor taste as comedy and treasonous barbs as protected speech under the First Amendment. Bandolero only finds one reason to actually watch the show – anticipation of a pie in the face. Stop! Bandolero is not suggesting that any asshole, no matter how gaping, should be targeted for assault, battery or any other form of violence. He is suggesting that a properly prepared cream pie applied safely and judiciously without malice or undue force to Mr. Colbert’s face on camera would not be a waste of good pie.

About Bandolero

Bandolero is an acrominical phoneme dissimilar in many ways from the phenominal esprit de la monastic pheronome widely observed in the montanas and sometimes mistaken for somebody else.