Category Archives: Anecdotal

Chapter 10 Revealed

We are pleased to inform the public of the publication of Chapter 10 of Bandolero’s Memoirs. While we’re here, we’ll note that, usually, a memoir is written near the end of one’s life, when one has done one’s lifetime of accomplishments, failures, or mediocrity, and desires to look back upon it, reflect upon it, and then write down such memories and reflections as one believes may interest those who are still struggling along the path of life. Bandolero’s Memoirs, however, seem to depict events in real time or, rather, in historical and/or present time, as his life appears to unfold or to have unfolded, at times haphazardly. However, it’s more complicated than that, due to our quantum universe and string reality. For El Bandolero, all is history, even that which to others seems to be present or future, if not past. Bandolero is timeless. Thus he is able to write about, and describe, what to others may be past, present, and/or future, in a way that Bandolero is able to present as history or, at times, in real time. Furthermore, because El Bandolero is a man who reveres honor and truth above all else, one need never fear that what he presents is biased, untrue, or misinformed. There are those who call themselves influencers, or who are labelled as such. Their endeavors are futile because, as Bandolero knows, the past, present, and/or future are immutable and attempts to influence their course are impotent. Those who see what they believe to be the result of influence of others or of themselves only see that which was already written, as were the actions of the influencers, whether they be others or themselves. Even though it may seem to them that there would have been different outcomes but for their influence, the fact is that it was written that way, anyhow. We all are but players on a stage, as was once written by a wise and prescient scientist and philosopher. Bandolero, who has been blessed, or perhaps cursed, with the knowledge of all that was, is, and shall be, has been called upon to shed the light of knowledge. From such light comes Bandolero’s Memoirs.

So, one might well ask, does El Bandolero really know the future? To which, one might well answer, does this really need to be asked, or answered? Would it matter? The answer should be obvious. The important thing for now is the manifestation of Chapter 10. Whether or not the public or any member of it is able to digest and comprehend the revelations therein is another matter, possibly one which is debatable, though needlessly so.

Intimate

“How self-centered is man, and how darkly do his own petty interests overshadow the giant things of life. Thrones may totter and fail, monarchs pass to the limbo of memories, whilst we wrestle with an intractable collar-stud.” — Sax Rohmer, The Orchard of Tears

There’s a lot to think about in that quote from the famous author who warned of the Yellow Menace and created its most formidable general and the world’s most insidious pharmacist, the pinnacle of evil, Dr. Fu Manchu. For one thing, what’s a collar-stud? Is it the same thing as a collar stud? For another thing, would it be politically correct, or incorrect, to point out the sexist reference to “man” in the opening phrase? In doing so would we be accused of intimating that women are also self-centered? As we know from popular (or is the proper term “populist”?) teachings, it’s the male that is self-centered. Females are empathetic and polyglotenous. Yet, this observation fails to account for the LGBTQ (Lapdog Globalist Bilingual Testicular Quietude) community or Bandolero’s favorite lunch, the BLT, which is not to be confused with the infamous DC BeLTway. 

For another thing, one would expect a throne to totter and fall, not totter and fail. It could fail and totter, in that order. Or it could totter and then fall. But to totter and then fail is incomprehensible, if not just plain non-prehensile. 

Which leaves us with the quandary of whether to try to wrap our mind around the notion of wrestling with a collar-stud (which gives rise to the thoroughly incredulous image of a sumo wrestler trying to get a half-nelson on a button) or to grasp the concept of a memory limbo. A memory could be in limbo, we suppose, as could several memories, now that we think about it. But just what is a limbo of memories? Is the word being used along the same line as “pride” when one speaks of a pride of lions? Well, maybe. Oh! Oh! Limbo as in the place between “here” and “there”; or the “nothingness”. Should I stay or should I go? I’m stuck in limbo. He’s using it as a noun, though, like the Chicago of memories. But that suggests a place memories could visit and leave, which I don’t think is meant. I’m thinking something like an inescapable Neverland. How about a place that’s “insubstantial”, as in “without substance”? Like where ghosts live. I remember something about a limbo song, with dancing in a limbo line. Well, I should check a dictionary, shouldn’t I? You should, too.

Seems like a good time to order another beer. Is there anybody else in the world who recalls that the word “intimate” (rhymes with “mate”) is also a verb that means “suggest”? Or did we just dream that up out of limbo?

Rumination No. 2

(The following is a guest post by an anonymous guest)

There are several times pretty much every day when I think there’s really not much to be said for the human race and that, in the grand scheme of the universe, or even just this planet, its disappearance would be no great loss, perhaps even a good thing. These thoughts usually occur while listening to talk radio, or while pausing a few seconds on some progam while channel surfing the TV, or after a day at the courthouse.

Where was I going with this? Actually, I had just been browsing this website: http://johnny.ihackstuff.com/ (which doesn’t seem to be there any more, sorry about that) and realized there are hundreds of thousands of people who are capable of wrecking websites and flooding the internet with spam, viruses and spyware, but only a tiny percentage who engage in such pursuits. This struck me as, perhaps, hope for the human race.

But it probably isn’t material evidence about the state of humanity. If you spend any time looking at sites like that one I mentioned about that isn’t there any more, plus security sites like Symantec, CERT, or McAfee, you can only conclude that on the internet you’re in the same position as a homeowner, traveller or citizen: you can do a few things to try to protect yourself from criminals and the government but, what it really comes down to is, safety only comes from being overlooked (or maybe anonymous).

Still, as a whole, maybe the great majority of the human race is worthy and honorable, though ripe for plucking by those who aren’t. On the other hand, watch about 60 seconds of Jerry Springer or any of those daytime TV court shows, and then ask yourself what you’d get rid of first if you were cleaning up the universe. Same question if you watch what real judges and juries are dealing with, and how they deal with it.