Category Archives: Misc

Heroes, Importante, Misc, Villains

Imposters

Imitation may be the highest form of flattery, but there are cases when it’s simply imitation, at best and, more often, cases when it’s deceptive, dishonest, fraudulent, artificial, bogus, etc. Bandolero is often the object of such imitation. Usually, the difference between the genuine Bandolero and his imitators is obvious to all, even those of challenged mental faculties. Nevertheless, it is not to be taken lightly, and Bandolero takes it seriously. Bandolero stands for the loftiest of principles; honesty, integrity, and loyalty being just a few. Bandolero has determined that it is time to emphasize the extent to which he takes these matters seriously, and to emphasize the extent to which he will act to defend his good name and reputation. To that end, those who would imitate Bandolero are put on notice that, should they do so, or attempt to do so, they act at their peril. They will, sooner or later, at such time, place, and opportunity as seems best to Bandolero, be dealt with in such fashion and in such manner as Bandolero considers to be most appropriate and most effective to terminate same; and “same” may be construed to mean either the imitation or the imitator, or both, as the case may be. Of course, this does not mean, and should not be construed to mean, or to suggest or imply, that Bandolero would intentionally harm the person or body of such an imitator inasmuch as this might be interpreted in today’s woke environment as a threat of bodily harm or injury. Such intent or action should never be attributed to Bandolero or to anything he or his advisers or his compadres or his loyal followers might say, write, or otherwise broadcast. Nevertheless, if and when such an imitator draws first, whether in words or otherwise, he/she/they can be assured that Bandolero will draw in self-defense in like fashion and the outcome will most assuredly end with Bandolero standing strong and the imitator, not so much.

Meanwhile, Bandolero takes this opportunity to assure his loyal fans and followers that he has not been resting on his laurels or his La-Z-Boy or anything else. While the length of time between his reports (“posts” as they say in social media circles) may cause some to wonder if he’s still out there crusading for the causes of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, it is only because he is so engaged in such pursuits that he is left with too little time to rest on his laurels or elsewhere and take time out to author reports of his actions and the progress of the cause. Fear not, worry not, and doubt not that Bandolero stands vigilant and, whenever the need arises (and it is always risen), he acts. But he must act without applause, without recognition, and without glory because these would impair and impede his effectiveness. Rest assured, Bandolero is there, wherever and whenever needed, for you.

And, imposters beware!

And, one more thing. Bandolero’s faithful webmaster has attended to several glitches and minor annoyances that were manifest in Bandolero’s website. Most were “behind the scenes”, that is, things that visitors wouldn’t recognize as defects or shortcomings, or things that when fixed would actually make anything look different. One exception to this is the addition of the “Go To Top” button at the bottom of pages. This button lets people get back to the menu without having to scroll all the way up from the bottom. Another exception is the restoration of the “hamburger” menu icon that shows up on small screens. It had disappeared quite some time ago, but has been restored. Well done, Harpshot!

 

Anecdotal, Misc, Politics, Society

Intimate

“How self-centered is man, and how darkly do his own petty interests overshadow the giant things of life. Thrones may totter and fail, monarchs pass to the limbo of memories, whilst we wrestle with an intractable collar-stud.” — Sax Rohmer, The Orchard of Tears

There’s a lot to think about in that quote from the famous author who warned of the Yellow Menace and created its most formidable general and the world’s most insidious pharmacist, the pinnacle of evil, Dr. Fu Manchu. For one thing, what’s a collar-stud? Is it the same thing as a collar stud? For another thing, would it be politically correct, or incorrect, to point out the sexist reference to “man” in the opening phrase? In doing so would we be accused of intimating that women are also self-centered? As we know from popular (or is the proper term “populist”?) teachings, it’s the male that is self-centered. Females are empathetic and polyglotenous. Yet, this observation fails to account for the LGBTQ (Lapdog Globalist Bilingual Testicular Quietude) community or Bandolero’s favorite lunch, the BLT, which is not to be confused with the infamous DC BeLTway. 

For another thing, one would expect a throne to totter and fall, not totter and fail. It could fail and totter, in that order. Or it could totter and then fall. But to totter and then fail is incomprehensible, if not just plain non-prehensile. 

Which leaves us with the quandary of whether to try to wrap our mind around the notion of wrestling with a collar-stud (which gives rise to the thoroughly incredulous image of a sumo wrestler trying to get a half-nelson on a button) or to grasp the concept of a memory limbo. A memory could be in limbo, we suppose, as could several memories, now that we think about it. But just what is a limbo of memories? Is the word being used along the same line as “pride” when one speaks of a pride of lions? Well, maybe. Oh! Oh! Limbo as in the place between “here” and “there”; or the “nothingness”. Should I stay or should I go? I’m stuck in limbo. He’s using it as a noun, though, like the Chicago of memories. But that suggests a place memories could visit and leave, which I don’t think is meant. I’m thinking something like an inescapable Neverland. How about a place that’s “insubstantial”, as in “without substance”? Like where ghosts live. I remember something about a limbo song, with dancing in a limbo line. Well, I should check a dictionary, shouldn’t I? You should, too.

Seems like a good time to order another beer. Is there anybody else in the world who recalls that the word “intimate” (rhymes with “mate”) is also a verb that means “suggest”? Or did we just dream that up out of limbo?

Anecdotal, Misc, Society

Rumination No. 2

(The following is a guest post by an anonymous guest)

There are several times pretty much every day when I think there’s really not much to be said for the human race and that, in the grand scheme of the universe, or even just this planet, its disappearance would be no great loss, perhaps even a good thing. These thoughts usually occur while listening to talk radio, or while pausing a few seconds on some progam while channel surfing the TV, or after a day at the courthouse.

Where was I going with this? Actually, I had just been browsing this website: http://johnny.ihackstuff.com/ (which doesn’t seem to be there any more, sorry about that) and realized there are hundreds of thousands of people who are capable of wrecking websites and flooding the internet with spam, viruses and spyware, but only a tiny percentage who engage in such pursuits. This struck me as, perhaps, hope for the human race.

But it probably isn’t material evidence about the state of humanity. If you spend any time looking at sites like that one I mentioned about that isn’t there any more, plus security sites like Symantec, CERT, or McAfee, you can only conclude that on the internet you’re in the same position as a homeowner, traveller or citizen: you can do a few things to try to protect yourself from criminals and the government but, what it really comes down to is, safety only comes from being overlooked (or maybe anonymous).

Still, as a whole, maybe the great majority of the human race is worthy and honorable, though ripe for plucking by those who aren’t. On the other hand, watch about 60 seconds of Jerry Springer or any of those daytime TV court shows, and then ask yourself what you’d get rid of first if you were cleaning up the universe. Same question if you watch what real judges and juries are dealing with, and how they deal with it.