The following is being published with the reluctant permission of its author on the condition of anonymity not only for reasons that will be obvious when you read it but also for certain other reasons that can never be revealed. While men and, yes, women and others, like the author fight quietly, their message is shouted across the land. And while they may fight and die anonymously, their cause is far from anonymous because it is the cause that God has challenged us to preserve at the heart of humanity: freedom!
Like many of history’s unsung heroes, I work from the underground to advance the agenda of protecting freedom. This I do not to protect myself, for I am fearless, but because as an unseen agent I am all the more effective at neutralizing oppositional forces, one small but important piece at a time. Many before me knew and practiced this ancient yet proven strategy, but perhaps none with such skill and artistry as the Great One, who was one of many with whom I was privileged to serve and call “Great One”. Even on his death bed, when I asked him what he did with Hoffa, he reminded me that our accomplishments must never see the light of day, must never be celebrated publicly, and must never be cause for self-flatulation. His response to my question was to close his eyes and, with a self-satisfied yet characteristically understated smile on his lips, die. The next time you read about a mystery nobody can solve, you will be admiring my trademark (with the one exception of D. B. Cooper). This is why I do not sign any communications except to the kindly old washerwoman who has cleaned my secret costume the past two decades and, of course, her kindly old washerwoman mother before her. Some things can never be compromised; a clean costume being second only to freedom itself.
El Bandolero is always on the lookout for advances in technology with the potential to advance the cause, and recently discovered Wiki Weapon – 3D Printable Gun – Defense Distributed. This is the sort of thing that can truly warm a Bandolero’s heart. Unfortunately, the company that makes the printers they were going to use was run by left-wing gun control weenies who canceled their contract when they found out what the printers would be used for. Bandolero believes that, in the long run, this was a blessing in disguise. Such printers create 3D objects out of plastic. Bandolero believes that the next quantum leap in 3D printing will employ nanotube technology. Nanotubes are ideally suited to digital manipulation and are capable of forming virtually indestructible objects. Bandolero doesn’t know whether objects made of nanotubes would be detectable by metal detectors and x-ray viewers, but that doesn’t matter. Bandolero would never advocate constructing weapons specifically to avoid detection. The only people who desire undetectable weapons are cowardly terrorists, and Bandolero despises them as much as anybody. They don’t advance any cause or principle that Bandolero favors advancing, at least insofar as known to Bandolero. Bandolero believes that those in power should be fully aware of the weaponry possessed by the citizenry. But, for this to have the desired effect, enough of the citizenry must be armed in order to create in the minds of those in power the necessary and appropriate fear of the citizenry. The problem with government these days is that it does not fear its citizenry. The founders of our great country knew that in order to keep politicians honest, they needed to know that there were armed militias that would storm Congress and wipe them out if they tried messing with our rights to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. The power of the vote alone would not work. In the first place, it takes too long. In the second place, it’s too easy to manipulate. An armed militia, on the other hand, can dispatch the bastards swiftly and effectively. And our forefathers recognized, and memorialized in our Constitution, the inalienable right to do so.
UPDATE: It appears the horse has left the barn, and Homeland Security is concerned. No mention of advances in nanotube 3-D printer technology, though. As always, Bandolero’s vision exceeds typical horizons.
Seems like things around here happen in spurts. That is, Bandolero has a brief episode of activity, then weeks and months of nothing. This is not really fair to Bandolero’s faithful followers. On the other hand, it’s a fun way to mess with his detractors and enemies and agents of corrupt governments whose job it is to watch Bandolero’s every move and every word. They can’t afford anything less than round the clock diligence, they can’t even afford to blink, for fear they might miss the one key piece of evidence they’re so desperate to find. Anybody who blinks jeopardizes their career, their reputation, their moment of glory. So, Bandolero works below the radar for stretches of time while they watch his blog and see nothing as days, weeks, even months pass. Bandolero enjoys imagining the scene that must take place when finally something shows up on the blog. Agents suddenly scrambling for their phones, checking their equipment to be sure it’s on, their adrenaline suddenly pumping, hearts racing, the worst state to be in when one is expected to perform with the cool calculated calm of a professional. Yes, Bandolero has appeared! Not just the Outlaw Bandolero, but the Guerrilla Bandolero!
Hey, guys: Boo!
Ha-ha-ha! El Bandolero has struck again! To his loyal followers and comrades Bandolero says, “Get out your official Bandolero Decrypto-Ciphers and calibrate to setting Alpha-Victor-Zulu at precisely oh-nineteen sixty to decode the secret coded message in this posting, and follow the instructions for your next mission. To his detractors and enemies and agents of corrupt governments Bandolero says, “Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!”